First time in the lacquer and leather scene?
Interview by Jannis 27 from Berlin
I have been to many sex parties in Berlin, Hamburg and Amsterdam. I honestly preferred the city of Berlin the most.
In Berlin, it really takes an odd number of gay men in an orgy to leave someone to clean up the mess.
My first night in a leather bar was almost a disaster. I knew I was attracted to the leather scene, but when I got there I was scared and intimidated by the clothes and body language of the gay men in the leather bar. I ordered a drink but didn't think I would manage to finish it. My nerves were just bare and I thought about going home. Luckily, a horny guy grabbed me and asked what was wrong. I explained to him that I didn't know how to dress or act. At the same time I felt extremely stupid in this leather bar. We went back to the bar together and ordered a couple of tequilas to see what would happen.
What follows is the advice I received that night
Together with a few other gay men, I observed the situation. It is not meant to be "the definitive guide on how to behave in a leather bar". In fact, if you want to feel comfortable in the leather scene and make new friends or like-minded people. If you are new to the leather scene or feel unsafe in gay bars, some of the following suggestions may help.
If you cross your arms and stand with your back against the wall, it's no wonder people avoid you. Turn towards the centre of the room and put your thumbs in your belt loops. If you have a bottle of beer in your hand, place it on your thigh. Try a loose posture. Some use poppers for this, for example. Which is also very well known in the leather scene and widespread worldwide.
Confident guys walk slowly and pretend they don't have to hurry. If you run around, no one has time to approach you. Dress similar to the person you want to attract. 4 out of 5 people who spend time grooming an image do so to attract other people who have the same image. If you want to maximise your chances of making friends with a skinhead, shave your head. If you want to meet bears, grow a beard. If you want to be taken seriously by leather men, I advise you to wear leather too.