A gay father is not a rarity. Many men only realise their inclinations for their own sex when they are older.

Being a gay father can put a strain on family life on many levels. After all, homosexuality - especially as a family man - stands against all moral concepts and conventions of society.

Anyone who has decided to father a child with a woman is of course straight!... or is it?

A look at the statistics shows that a Coming Out - especially in the 50s and older - is not at all uncommon. Many men realise here that they have lied to themselves over a long period of time by not admitting their own feelings.

Many men react confused when they notice corresponding tendencies in themselves. The fact that there was no longer any desire to sleep with his own wife was often dismissed as stress or something similar. Accordingly, a gay father is often shocked by his own feelings.

In this case, only one thing helps: seeking help, feeling positive about oneself and communication. The affected wife should always know that it is not her "fault" that the husband is suddenly attracted to men. Likewise, children should be supported during this special phase of life.

Many families decide to start family therapy. This is by no means about "re-polarising" the man again, but instead about learning to deal with the new situation. It would certainly be asking too much to be able to live in a friendly relationship with each other again "from now on". After all, the coming out of the gay father also means that the relationship with the mother has (inevitably) failed. With understanding and time, however, this is a hurdle that is quite surmountable for all involved.