The word "faggot" is often used to describe gay people. The word is not always meant in a positive or self-deprecating way. Unfortunately, in many cases it also conceals an insult.
Not everyone who speaks of a "faggot" associates this with a negative statement. But: unfortunately, many people still see the term as a swear word and use it to disparage men who appear particularly feminine.
Whether the respective gays merely behave femininely (or particularly dramatically) or also dress rather femininely is mostly irrelevant here.
But: the word faggot is also used within the LGBTQ Scene widespread and is also used by gays among themselves. Here, however, a healthy dose of self-irony usually dominates when, for example, "fag parties" are referred to as "Fag shower" will be launched.
In order to ultimately be able to judge whether the term faggot is a negative term, it is accordingly always important to see the respective context.
Many gays are aware of their feminine traits and love to play with their respective fag image in a loving way. The term also comes up again and again in personal ads and chats. Those who are at home in the scene here know exactly what kind of gay they are writing to when they chat with a self-proclaimed faggot.
And this is surely where the big difference between affectionate designation and insult lies. Homophobic people often use "faggot" in a particularly general (and hurtful) way. They don't care whether the person being insulted is particularly feminine or not. The mere fact that he gay is, in their opinion, entitles them to call him a "faggot". Gays or tolerant people are one step further here. They know about the special character traits of a faggot, love them and therefore use the term - if at all - in a completely different way.