Problems of a Rainbow Family - "Help, my child is being bullied because I'm gay!"
Actually, everything could be so perfect! The adoption papers have been signed, your own Rainbow family has become one member richer. However, at the latest when the offspring reaches primary school age, astonished looks are unfortunately often part of everyday life in rainbow families.
Not only many adults, but also their children usually quickly notice that the "dad/dad" (or mum/mum) constellation does not correspond at all to their conservative perception of roles.
The whole thing becomes particularly tragic when the children of the affected rainbow families are excluded and/or whispered about behind their backs.
But how should parents and children actually react when confronted with the corresponding problems?
An ideal world is shaken
In the beginning, everything often seems simple: Daddy and Papa are there. The little family is happy. Even though love can of course be lived in both traditional and rainbow families, traditional role models unfortunately still convey the opinion that daddy-daddy families are "somehow different".
Children are usually comparatively sensitive and often wonder what could be wrong with them. It is precisely at this point that it is important to take the situation seriously and intervene directly. But how?
Talking in a child-friendly way and strengthening self-confidence
As a general rule, it is difficult or impossible to change other people. Rainbow families should therefore make sure that they have a stable family environment. Prejudices cannot be eradicated from the world.
Those who instead manage to give their child the self-confidence it needs to lead a happy life are definitely at an advantage.
Strengthening one's own character is, of course, already possible at an early age. Children who are sure that they are growing up in a loving family and who know exactly that daddy and papa are always there for them often face challenges with even more conviction.
Many counselling centres have now focused on problems of this kind, among others, and offer counselling to rainbow families.
If possible: talk to the parents of the bullying children
Admittedly: It can be extremely difficult for the victims of bullying to defend themselves against the attacks each time. Anyone who learns that their child is being ostracised at school (or already at kindergarten) should contact the kindergarten or school management and the parents of the bullies.
It quickly becomes clear that children are not born homophobic! Often it is the opinion of the parents (or that of other children) that spills over and - without being reflected upon - is passed on.
In many cases, the problem can be solved with a mix of transparency and communication and building a healthy self-awareness.
Encourage children to develop their own safe circle of friends.
The fact that bullies are often only strong in a group intimidates many children. However, it would definitely be wrong to cower in your shell and isolate yourself.
Children of rainbow families who suffer from bullying should therefore always be encouraged to build up their own circle of friends. After all, not all children at school or kindergarten are sceptical about the modern family image.
Those who know that they are supported (and in an emergency also protected to a certain extent) by their friends have found a wonderful complement to their two dads and can count on another very valuable kind of support.
You might also like this post: Désirée Nick opened the programme of the CSD in Stuttgart